Special Issues

Young Women and Breast Cancer

Young women with breast cancer often endure a more aggressive form of the disease. In addition, they face questions, some with unknown answers, as to their future fertility and child bearing. At one time breast cancer was thought to be a disease of postmenopausal (older) women, but diagnosis among young women has unfortunately become more prevalent.

Women With a Family History

Having a family history of breast cancer, and/or the breast cancer "gene," brings its own fear, soul-searching and difficult considerations regarding what to do, if anything, to be proactive against the possiblility of future breast cancer.

Partner or Spouse

The spouse or partner of a woman with breast cancer experiences a myriad of emotions. They often struggle with anger, frustration, and, most of all, overwhelm. They may need to take on responsibilities formerly handled by their partner, and some are ill-prepared. Some look ahead and fear for the future of their families. The possibility of losing a lifemate, best friend, lover, second parent, is devastating. There can be unconscious feelings of anger toward their partners for getting sick at all. Any of this may result in lashing out at or blaming the breast cancer patient. And, unfortunately, many caregivers are reluctant to ask for help. This diagnosis can bring havoc to relationships as a couples struggle to cope with all that's involved.

Family and Friends

People have a variety of responses to illness, and family and friends of women with breast cancer are no exception. Some may pull away; some may rush in to help; some feel helpless and kind of paralyzed; others rally together to plan practical assistance. It is important that family and friends take cues from the breast cancer patient, paying attention to what she needs, what she wants and what she doesn't want, while taking good care of themselves in the process.

Caregivers

Caregivers of women with breast cancer, whether spouse, partner, friends, or a combination thereof, will at times feel overwhelmed and exhausted. When overextended, caregivers may feel angry, may withdraw, may feel consciously or unconsciously guilty for having needs of their own. It is vitally important for caregivers to take action when stressed and tired. It is important for them to get the help they need, even if they think they don't need it! Regular breaks from caretaking; support groups; individual therapy; massages; time out to have fun; walks with friends; getting help with meals, cleaning, driving to and from appointments, childcare, whatever provides adequate relief. A caregiver is no good to anyone if he or she falls apart.

Metastatic Breast Cancer

While metastatic breast cancer is no longer a death knell, it is deeply feared by any woman who's had breast cancer. If cancer metastasizes, treatment will depend upon its nature and extent, and may change over time. With advances in research and new drugs, some treatments can be well tolerated and quite manageable. Others are more debilitating. Often treatment of one kind or another will continue ad infinitum. Metastatic cancer is considered an incurable, chronic condition. Women need support, help and the sensitivity of others as they face what may be for them a very long haul. Thankfully more women are living much longer, decades even, with good quality of life. There is much reason to be hopeful.

Life After Breast Cancer

The conclusion of treatment can be a difficult time, which is surprising to many women. The days, weeks, months of practically endless tending to cancer is over. Your hospital and doctor visits dwindle considerably. The constant attention of family and friends is no longer warranted. Your loved ones, who have supported you throughout, are very relieved that "you made it." They, along with you, may expect that you will resume "life as it was" before breast cancer. However, many women continue to experience difficult side affects, debilitating fatigue, aching joints, "chemo brain," to name a few, some of which may continue for some time. Additionally, you've walked through a long period of putting one foot in front of the other, doing what was necessary to "get through." Post-treatment may be the first time a women takes a deep breath and begins to take stock, trying to make meaning of her experience. Reflecting on one's mortality, perhaps taking a hard look at how you've lived your life, reconsidering your values, what is important to you and what is not, can leave you reeling as new thoughts and emotions come bubbling to the surface. This is a transitional period, different for each invidivual. And it is a time when individual or group therapy can be a lot of help.